By My Side
by Shiro Hunter
Summary: Mira is a planet jam-packed with things normal people would have a hard time wrapping their head around. But if you're an amnesiac who has no idea about his origins and doesn't know what basic things like mushrooms or lions are... Well, at least you've got your teammates to teach you- Both about the planet you live on, and the one you once lived in.
1. Mushrooms

"So, mushrooms…" Cross began, squinting as he looked up, shielding his eyes from the glaring sun. "…they don't glow back on Earth?"

"No." Elma said matter-of-factly, following her comrade's gaze. "In fact, any kind that's color is too vivid are usually poisonous."

Basking in the majesty of a giant of what he'd just learned were called 'mushrooms', Cross directed his gaze to the azure skies above for a moment, noting how clear it was in Noctilum that day, before asking again:

"So we don— uh, _didn't_ eat mushrooms?"

"We did, and we still do." Elma said, giving the new Pathfinder a brief smile. "Although we usually eat ones that are colored brown or white, as the vividly colored ones I just mentioned – those with red, blue, or dotted caps, – are most likely poisonous."

"But even then, there were many variety of edible mushrooms back on Earth." She continued, "They're commonly used in dishes such as soup, but it's not rare to see them deep-fried as well."

Cross let out a 'hmm' sound, crossing his arms and letting his gaze drop to the ground as if something on the Noctilucent forest's fertile soil below had caught his attention.

"What is it?" Elma eventually asked, her tone laced with curiosity.

"Um, no, it's just…" Glancing back up, Cross examined the enormous mushroom before him again, observing every fibre of it with a raised brow on his face. "Do we really eat things these big? Back on Earth, I mean."

"I mean, how did we harvest them?" He frowned, unconsciously adopting a thinking pose by letting his hand wander to his chin. "Did we cut them down like trees? So there were whole forests of mushrooms on Earth that we cut down? Wait, how did people even cut them into bite-sized piec—"

"...What?" Cross asked a bewildered-looking Elma who had had her brows raised, a rare expression for the stoic Reclaimer, which was usually reserved for the most bizarre of occasions. Like when L actually worded an idiom right for once. "W-What did I say?"

"Nothing." She eventually spoke, her emotionless mask already returning to place. "Actually, humans cut them down with brute force. Even I used to bring one down with my bare hands."

Cross scoffed. "Ha. Ha. Very funny, Colonel."

"…"

"Wait, you're not serious, are you?"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…I, uh—"

" _Of_ _course_ I wasn't serious, Cross!" Finally, Elma rolled her eyes, letting out the grin she had been holding back. "The mushrooms back on Earth were nowhere near this big!"

Cross froze as he stared at his Leader with wide eyes. He blinked twice before letting out a low, awkward chuckle. "R…Right. Of course. I knew that..."

"In fact…" Seemingly unfazed by his reaction, Elma continued. "I think Lin is making some for dinner today. We should head back soon if you want to taste how mushrooms really taste like."

With that, the Reclaimer turned on her heels, already heading towards the direction of New LA. Cross snapped out of his shock, and followed her soon after, hesitantly asking:

"You're sure we're not eating its Miran counterpart, right? …Elma?"

* * *

 _A/N: Bask in my absolutely lame attempt at cracking a joke. I really have to practice writing XCX Characters more- I have no idea how to write as them more times than not._ _And that's what this fic serves for! (How the fuck do you even Elma)_

 _...Alright, partly. I have a mighty need for more characters interactions and just Cross being taught stuff by everybody alright. So yes, I will probably continue this when I can, but in the mean time, you're all free to message me some other 'party-members-teaching-Cross-what-stuffs-are' ideas! It's always nice to listen about other Cross's :_


	2. A Shoulder to Cry On

**\- THIS CHAPTER MINOR SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 5 -**

 _(You've been warned)_

* * *

"Didn't think I'd find you here, Colonel."

Elma looked up at the voice, her gaze meeting his as she greeted back:

"Good evening to you, too, Cross." She stood up from where she had been petting Cross' cat, silver hair dancing in the night Miran winds and blue eyes reflecting the moonlight as she gave the younger BLADE a smile. "Same goes for you. I thought you've gone to bed already, what's the matter?"

Cross shrugged. "Nothing, really. Just felt like taking a little stroll out to the Residential District – After all, I never was able to stay in the barracks for long, right?"

Slipping his hands into the pockets of his jacket, Cross moved to lean to the railing. And there it was: his signature smile, as warm and fond as it had always been, a trait Elma had always taken as a sign of his cheerfulness and innocence—

—or at least, it would've been, if it didn't look so obviously _forced._

"It's really cold today, isn't it?" Cross started, completely oblivious to the questioning look Elma was giving. "Maybe those 'snow' thing Lin was talking about might fall in Primordia at this rate."

"If it did, then the term 'when Cauldros frozen over' will actually come true. Heh." He continued, absent-mindedly gazing at the gel body of water below NLA with a look of… _something_ on his face.

Elma, on the other hand, seemed to have figured everything out. "Was it the nightmares again?"

 _Bull's eye_ , she could tell by the way Cross flinched and gave her an ' _are-you-an-esper?_ ' look with wide eyes. "You could… You could tell?"

"It's three in the morning," Elma stated matter-of-factly. "You claim to still be up in the middle of the night, four days after losing your arm and discovering that you were a mim. It's easy to figure out what happened, no?"

"Besides, you're quite transparent, I have to admit." She added with a chuckle.

Cross sighed in response, running a hand through his hair. "It's been four days. People would have usually forgotten about things by then, dont'cha think?"

"I heard you scream the first night, and the living room door opening the second and third."

"How did you—?! …You know what? Never mind. You win." Cross put his hands in the air as a sign of defeat, before finally dropping his façade and sighed. "… So yes, I'm still having nightmares…. A lot."

"… Go on."

"It's just the same thing each night, but I'm terrified all the same." He continued, still refusing to meet her gaze. "I don't even know how I should feel about this—I'm not even sure _what_ I'm feeling right now. I mean, on top of the pain still fresh in my mind, there's also…"

"There's also...?" Elma prompted when Cross trailed off.

"… The, uh, the fact that I'm a mim." Cross scratched the back of his neck, as if somewhat embarrassed at what he'd just admit.

"The fact that you're a mim?" Elma asked, cocking her head slightly to the side. "Why would that bother you?"

"I-It's stupid, I know." The amnesiac said. "It's just… I have no memory, right? If we're all just controlling these mims from our real bodies… what does that make me? I don't even know if I'm actually controlling these, so what am I? A person whose mim has lost parts of its brain functions, or a…" Cross paused, letting his gaze drop to the ground. "A soulless robot with human emotions?"

"I mean, I-I was never good at these philosophy stuff, but, that—" Cross felt a lump in his throat, and had to pause (again) to take a shaky breath before continuing. "That alone was enough to keep me up at night."

For a moment, Elma was speechless; she hadn't thought that incident would do that much to him, not in her wildest dreams! She couldn't even begin to imagine how much torment that thought had brought him. How could she not notice this before? And, quite as importantly… "Why didn't you say anything to me or Lin before?"

Cross had to rub his eye with his finger as naturally as possible before speaking, and at that moment, Elma noticed that his eyes had already begun to well up. "I'd probably cry if I did, wouldn't I?"

" _Cry_?" The Reclaimer asked back disbelievingly, moving to wipe the tears threatening to fall in Cross' other eye. "Cross, in times like these, that's exactly what you should do. Bottle them up, and they'll just keep on haunting you…"

"But isn't that—" Cross gently pried Elma's hand away off his face, wiping his tears with a thumb instead. "Isn't crying a sign of, uh, weakness?"

 _Oh._ It took Elma all of her might not to bring her palm to her forehead. _Sometimes I forget how much he hangs around people like Irina and Lao…_

Elma took a deep breath, and took her eyes off her team mate to gaze at the enormous Miran moon instead, its figure standing still in the night sky while its light barely obscured by the silhouette of BLADE tower. She let silence befell them, then, a moment before she finally spoke:

"Even I cry too, sometimes."

Cross was visibly surprised at this, staring at his leader with wide eyes in shock. " _You_? But, Colonel, you're really strong!"

"Which is exactly why I need to let out every now and again." Elma said matter-of-factly. "Had I not, I wouldn't have been able to stay strong for you guys – what good would a leader be if she cannot support her team mates, right?"

"Even the best of us makes mistakes." She continued. "The times when I felt down, thinking about things I couldn't talk about to you or Lin, I always try to remember; you're there by my side—you all are—no matter what happens."

Now it was Cross' turn to remain silent. Once again, his gaze fell to the ground as he said, in a small voice. "… Do you think crying is a weakness, Colonel?"

Elma sighed. "There are many things that are considered a weakness among the people…"

Cross couldn't even processed what had just happened. One second, he saw Elma walking over to him, and the next, he found his head resting on her shoulders, silver hair tickling his nose as she spoke to his ear:

"… And crying is definitely _not_ one of them." She said, her embrace only tightening as she did.

At that moment, Cross felt his eyes well up, but found himself unable to wipe them off. No words could make it past the lump in his throat, but—strangely—simply being in the Colonel's warm embrace, he couldn't…—

—He just couldn't take it anymore.

Elma let him sob and wail, let his shoulders shake and his breath hitch, not caring that her shirt would be drenched in tears. Occasionally, she'd rub comforting circles on his back, whispering comforting words and telling him to 'let it all out'. And she'd shed a few tears too, maybe, out of empathy after listening to his screams and chokes.

After what felt like an eternity or just a few minutes, Cross calmed down, and broke apart from her as he wiped the remaining tears off his eyes.

"Sorry." He immediately said, breath still hitching and eyes still red as he spoke.

"It's alright." Elma said, smiling a little. "As long as you feel better about it."

Cross sniffed one last time before returning the smile, taking a deep breath as he slipped his hands into his pockets once more. "Thanks, Colonel."

"You know…" The Reclaimer started. "There's really no need for you to call me 'Colonel', too."

"Wha—Really? But I thought—"

Elma chuckled. "That's just my position back on Earth that Gwin and Irina can't seem to stop calling me by. On Mira, I'm just a BLADE member operatives like you, Cross."

"Right, then." Cross let out a chuckle, one that wasn't forced this time. "Thank you… Elma."

"There we go," The Reclaimer smiled, already turning on her heels and heading towards the direction of the Administrative District. "Now come on. It's almost sunrise, anyway, so what do you say we surprise Lin by cooking up a meal for her?"

"Lead the way, Colonel." A sniff still made it past Cross' throat, but he smiled as he fell into step beside Elma.

Because now he knew, more than ever, that he had a shoulder to cry on the next time he needed to show a weakness.

* * *

 _A/N: Get it? By her side? Get i- okay I'll shut up now._

 _Blame green-piggy for her characters laughing/crying headcanon for inspiring this. I always think the mim reveal was quite a traumatic experience for Rook. I mean, you just got your arm blown clean off on top of knowing you're actually a freaking robot all along! I'd be damned if you didn't get nightmares from that!_

 _Pretty sure I made a whole lot of grammar and idiom mistakes because I just didn't feel... right while reading this, but eh._

 _Next Chapter: Dinosaurs (ft. Terrible teacher Lao) (suggested by Gbirds!)_


	3. Jurassic Beasts

_**A/N: This one's for you, Gbird.**_

* * *

"Anyone seen Cross?"

From her place behind the kitchen counter, Lin looked over her shoulder, answering:

"He went straight for the showers after coming back. Muttered something about Indigen dung, I think?"

Lao sighed. "Figures."

"Why? Did you need him for something?" Elma asked, looking up. She had had her arms crossed while sitting on one of the barracks' sofa, patiently waiting for dinner to be served.

"Just wanted to remind him the Pathfinders are doing a joint exploration to Noctilum in a few days." Lao said, running a hand through his hair. "He's been given a few days off of Division work after that… incident of his, so Vandham kept pestering me to remind him. Again."

Elma chuckled in return. "You sure you're not just here because of the smell of Lin's cooking?"

Lao raised an eyebrow. "Who do you take me for? Doug?"

"Doug's here, too?"

Speak of the devil. All three heads turned to see Cross, already in his sleepwear with a towel hanging around his shoulders. In his hand, a cup of ice cream he'd somehow grabbed without anyone noticing.

"Again, Cross? When was the last time you've actually eaten real food?" Lin sighed. "—And no, Lao's the only one here, by the way."

"What? Ice creams are great!" Said Cross, opening the package and taking a seat on the sofa across Elma. "Besides, I won't be able to eat these as much once the expedition's started—at least let me become a sugar addict til' then."

Lin couldn't tell if Lao's sigh was out of relief from knowing Cross remembered the expedition, or out of exasperation that he had come all the way here for nothing. She was willing to bet on the latter, though.

"Well, alright," The Outfitter eventually huffed. "Just make sure you're also eating properly. Ice creams are great, but we don't want you collapsing on the road out of sugar overdose! Right, Lao?"

(Cross raised a brow at the 'overdose' part, but decided it didn't pique his curiosity enough to be asked.)

"Heh. Yeah, right." The Pathfinder scoffed. "Dying from diabetes doesn't look better on your biography than being stepped on by a dinosaur-sized indigen, I'll give you that."

—That piqued his curiosity.

"What's a dinosaur?"

Lin dropped the mushroom she had been holding. Lao's jaw dropped to the floor. Even Elma put on one of her rarest, most baffled expression which Cross had never seen her wear before—not even when they saw the Defense Secretary in a drunken state the other day.

"Did I… say something?" He asked one whole awkward silence later.

"...You're kidding, right?" Lao disbelievingly asked, staring at his fellow Pathfinder with wide eyes.

"Actually, I don't think we've ever told him about prehistoric Earth much…" Said Lin, adopting a thinking pose by putting her finger on her chin.

"-Or about Earth fauna at all." Elma finished the younger BLADE's sentence, who was now rushing to gather all of the mushrooms she'd let fall to the floor.

Cross, on the other hand, looked on confusedly. "What? What are you guys talking about? What is these 'dinosaurs', anyway?"

There was a brief moment of silence. One which was broken by, surprisingly, Lao.

"Dinosaurs," He started rather awkwardly. "are… big. They're, um, really, really big. With- uh, big teeth. Um-"

"What he's trying to say is," Sighed Elma as she came up behind him, rubbing the bridge of her nose like she had gotten a sudden migraine. "Dinosaurs are what we call the creatures that roams the Earth in the prehistoric era. During the Triassic-Jurassic era, to be exact."

(Cross honestly understood Lao's explanation more than most of Elma's, but at least he could gather that these 'dinosaurs' were a kind of animal that lived on Earth.)

"Mm..." Cross hummed. "How do they look like?"

Unexpectedly, Elma stuttered at this.

"Uh," She hesitantly said. "They, um… Well, I've only seen their remains, but… They're, uh, big…."

Lao snickered when she trailed off, earning himself an ice-cold glare from the silverhaired Colonel.

"They... come in all shape and sizes, actually!" Lin hurriedly chimed in, obviously trying to distract everyone's attention from the war between BLADE veterans that was just waiting to explode. "Some fly like birds, some are as big as Milesaurs, some are crazy fast - you name it!"

Cross cocked his head to the side curiously. "Have you ever met one, Lin?"

"Oh! No, Cross, they went extinct millions of years before I was even born."

"What's 'extinct'?"

It took Lin all of her might not to sigh in frustration and instead bring the palm of her hand to her forehead.

"Extinct," Lao started, continuing where Lin left off. "means to just… not exist anymore. Killed off. Poof. Gone. Nothing left of 'em. Dead"

Elma looked like she was about to protest against that rather crude explanation for one of her team members, but another question made her shut her mouth once again.

"But if one's dead, couldn't its friends have lived on, too?" For the umpteenth time, Cross asked, chewing on his spoon.

"NO!" Both Elma and Lao said in unison, making Cross jump a foot into the air. From the look on their faces, it was almost as if they're doing a competition to see who can explain what to the famous amnesia better than the other. And that competition had just officially began.

Cross, however, didn't need to know that to tell it was going to be a long night.

* * *

 _ **A/N: I know, it's been too long! I miss doing these, but at the same time I've been a bit busy lately. I have 3-ish wips for this so far tho, so let's hope I can continue this series of silly one-shots!**_


End file.
